New Beginnings

Okay, for all zero of you who read this blog, you know it has been an age and a day since I last posted anything. Why? Because I'm a lazy, lazy man who has had his butt kicked by his intended major and I honestly was waning a lot. That's behind me.

I know at least every blogger has to face the decision on if he or she will stop writing the blog or begin again, and I have decided to begin again. This is will require a lot of changes, but I think it will be good. Good how? Who knows? I don't, but I am committed to trying if you are willing to commit to, um, existing? Seriously, does any one but bots read this? That's okay, I've decided to start name dropping other blogs and websites like it's going out of style! Why? Well, I could get hits that way maybe? Maybe not.

Wait a minute, you might be saying to yourself (that is if you're not yet another ad bot posting a link in another language on my site, dispite my measures against that), this is a blog about Christian views based on the Bible, and I don't remember Jesus ever dropping down a command about writing in a blog or Paul calling himself the "cheifest of sinners and the hippist of bloggers." You're right, this post has no Biblical tie in, so... Remember the bit about me being lazy? Part of that is that I felt drained. Dead really. I was slowly not trusting in the Lord for whatever reason. But my faith has been restored and I am coming back.

The prophet Isaiah said (40:30-31), "Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they will wait and not faint." That means, even those who are full of life and energy will grown weak and weary, but those who put their faith in God will not grow weak, but instead be full of life because God is the giver of life. I felt weak and drained because somewhere along the line I stopped waiting on the Lord and grew weary. Ironically, Isaiah 40:30-31 is my favorite passage in scripture and I blew it. Oh well, the best part of the relationship with my Savior is that "he is faithful and just to forgive" (1 John 1:9). Not to mention the all around awesomeness that is God.

"Well, You Don't Have to Be Sarcastic About It."

Everyone who knows me knows I'm sarcastic. That's what you get when you deal with me. Yet, I'm not trying to to be mean with it. I can come across as mean, but most people realize that it just how I am. I am sarcastic. However, it's been worse lately, and I'm not sure why.

I suppose I'm sarcastic for any number of reasons. I come from a sarcastic family. I am somewhat cynical. I have a level of intelligence. A lot of my friends are sarcastic. It's just how it is. I try not to be mean, and I do what I can to discern when not to be sarcastic. However, despite all this, my sarcasm has gotten worse lately.

My comment and replies are constantly sarcastic anymore. I find myself saying things that simply don't need to be said that way. Is it the stress of looking for a job? I hope not. I've been under a lot more stress than my current condition and my sarcasm has been in check. Is it some change in my life? Well, I'd understand if my life wasn't at it's normal state of confusion. Am I afraid of something? I've racked my brain and I can't think of one thing that's scaring me enough to make me react in fear. I've been casting my doubts on the Lord and His has answered my prayers, as He always does. That's when I touch on something. Have I drifted from my Father?

I'm stubborn with a capital S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N. I wouldn't take too much offensive to being called "bull-headed." I am stubborn and I know it. The Lord uses that stubbornness and breaks it down all the same. What I mean is, He takes my stubborn self and makes me diligent, which is the positive side of stubborn. Then He takes my unwillingness to do some things and my standing on the wrong things and breaks it all down. I become more diligent than stubborn, but I'm still very stubborn.

I wonder if that stubbornness is rearing it's ugly head again. Am I refusing to do something and I'm reacting with sarcasm? Or is there some secret fear that I'm too stubborn to admit? It's not hidden from the Lord, but my own stubborn stupidity (for that's what stubbornness usually is) won't let me give it up. The old, dead flesh is still clinging on to the Renewed Soul. This fights weapon, sarcasm. However, it might just be I'm overly sarcastic and I'm just too cynical and I need to get that in check. Only time with the Lord will tell.