New Dog, Same New Tricks, Or Something Like That

What a Glorious God I serve! It amazes me how spending time with my Father can be so fulfilling! I love to Serve a Lord who can take anything and make it for good. Can I get an Amen?

The other night I went for a run after Bible Study. It went on this run because I could feel the Lord telling me I needed to talk with Him and we needed to have a few things said. I am so glad I went on that run. I geared up for the run and set out with my iPod playing. I was wondering on something that came up in Bible Study.

Signs. I don't get those. God, in His will, doesn't give me signs about what He's said He'll do for me. I get plenty of them after He has done something, but not before. Now, God is not bound at all to give us signs of anything. He does not have to give you a sign that such-and-such is the person you're going to marry. He does not have to gives signs to tell you that you are to do this or that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have gotten signs of God's will for my life before. Like what I going to school for, God gave me many signs that I should be a teacher, I just ignored them for a while.

It was beautiful though. God and me had a great conversation about that I don't need signs for things. Isn't it wonderful how we're all different? Some of us need signs all the time, yet some of us need them once in a great while. It's so awesome that we serve a God that knows us better than we know ourselves.

Also, God has shown me how much I have in writing. I love to write and some claim I have talent in that (Novel anyone?). Furthermore, it is in my writing that I best express myself. I have loved writing since I learned to do it at school. God has really given me a passion to write and apparently some talent in that. I love it so much.

The run was simply beautiful. Words fail to describe my spiritual high that night. I remember listening to Disciple at one point. Their song "Dive" is on my running tracks. The chorus is based off Isaiah 40:31.

But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

I was reminded of this Scripture. I quoted it slightly out of order during my run, but I knew what was being said. The chorus is " I'll run and not grow weak/Walk and will not faint/Climb the highest mountain to dive off/And I'll fly high on broken wings." It is a powerful song. It really gets me pumped every time.

My run was so recharging. I was tired after I finished, but I was so happy. I ran like I haven't in some time and It was great. It was funny how Satan tried the next day to put me in a foul mood. He tried to fight me with my contacts, with my sleep, even my plans for the evening. Yet he failed about I know something he keeps forgetting. The Lord is my strength and my refuge.

"Well, You Don't Have to Be Sarcastic About It."

Everyone who knows me knows I'm sarcastic. That's what you get when you deal with me. Yet, I'm not trying to to be mean with it. I can come across as mean, but most people realize that it just how I am. I am sarcastic. However, it's been worse lately, and I'm not sure why.

I suppose I'm sarcastic for any number of reasons. I come from a sarcastic family. I am somewhat cynical. I have a level of intelligence. A lot of my friends are sarcastic. It's just how it is. I try not to be mean, and I do what I can to discern when not to be sarcastic. However, despite all this, my sarcasm has gotten worse lately.

My comment and replies are constantly sarcastic anymore. I find myself saying things that simply don't need to be said that way. Is it the stress of looking for a job? I hope not. I've been under a lot more stress than my current condition and my sarcasm has been in check. Is it some change in my life? Well, I'd understand if my life wasn't at it's normal state of confusion. Am I afraid of something? I've racked my brain and I can't think of one thing that's scaring me enough to make me react in fear. I've been casting my doubts on the Lord and His has answered my prayers, as He always does. That's when I touch on something. Have I drifted from my Father?

I'm stubborn with a capital S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N. I wouldn't take too much offensive to being called "bull-headed." I am stubborn and I know it. The Lord uses that stubbornness and breaks it down all the same. What I mean is, He takes my stubborn self and makes me diligent, which is the positive side of stubborn. Then He takes my unwillingness to do some things and my standing on the wrong things and breaks it all down. I become more diligent than stubborn, but I'm still very stubborn.

I wonder if that stubbornness is rearing it's ugly head again. Am I refusing to do something and I'm reacting with sarcasm? Or is there some secret fear that I'm too stubborn to admit? It's not hidden from the Lord, but my own stubborn stupidity (for that's what stubbornness usually is) won't let me give it up. The old, dead flesh is still clinging on to the Renewed Soul. This fights weapon, sarcasm. However, it might just be I'm overly sarcastic and I'm just too cynical and I need to get that in check. Only time with the Lord will tell.