New Dog, Same New Tricks, Or Something Like That

What a Glorious God I serve! It amazes me how spending time with my Father can be so fulfilling! I love to Serve a Lord who can take anything and make it for good. Can I get an Amen?

The other night I went for a run after Bible Study. It went on this run because I could feel the Lord telling me I needed to talk with Him and we needed to have a few things said. I am so glad I went on that run. I geared up for the run and set out with my iPod playing. I was wondering on something that came up in Bible Study.

Signs. I don't get those. God, in His will, doesn't give me signs about what He's said He'll do for me. I get plenty of them after He has done something, but not before. Now, God is not bound at all to give us signs of anything. He does not have to give you a sign that such-and-such is the person you're going to marry. He does not have to gives signs to tell you that you are to do this or that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have gotten signs of God's will for my life before. Like what I going to school for, God gave me many signs that I should be a teacher, I just ignored them for a while.

It was beautiful though. God and me had a great conversation about that I don't need signs for things. Isn't it wonderful how we're all different? Some of us need signs all the time, yet some of us need them once in a great while. It's so awesome that we serve a God that knows us better than we know ourselves.

Also, God has shown me how much I have in writing. I love to write and some claim I have talent in that (Novel anyone?). Furthermore, it is in my writing that I best express myself. I have loved writing since I learned to do it at school. God has really given me a passion to write and apparently some talent in that. I love it so much.

The run was simply beautiful. Words fail to describe my spiritual high that night. I remember listening to Disciple at one point. Their song "Dive" is on my running tracks. The chorus is based off Isaiah 40:31.

But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

I was reminded of this Scripture. I quoted it slightly out of order during my run, but I knew what was being said. The chorus is " I'll run and not grow weak/Walk and will not faint/Climb the highest mountain to dive off/And I'll fly high on broken wings." It is a powerful song. It really gets me pumped every time.

My run was so recharging. I was tired after I finished, but I was so happy. I ran like I haven't in some time and It was great. It was funny how Satan tried the next day to put me in a foul mood. He tried to fight me with my contacts, with my sleep, even my plans for the evening. Yet he failed about I know something he keeps forgetting. The Lord is my strength and my refuge.

I Can See Clearly Now the Blur is Gone

This morning I woke up with The most Painful Migraine I have had in some time. It seriously felt like I had a drill going through my skull while my head was on fire! Plus, I could barely see out of my right eye. I was in so much pain, I decided that I just really didn't feel like braving my way to General Psychology and listening to Dr. Kemp drone on about things I already know and his experiences in graduate school. (Seriously, when am I ever going to use someone else's graduate stories in real life?) Well, I woke up an hour later, in even worse pain than I was in when I originally woke up. While I could see clearly, my stomach now felt like some big body-builder was punching me repeatedly in the stomach. Plus, light hurt my eyes so much! (Trust me, photo-sensitivity, sensitivity to light, is a painful, painful thing.)

I was glad at the time I was experiencing mild to no audio-sensitivity (sound = pain). I was equally glad that my next class was Experiencing Music, which is in a dimly lit room. Well, I was glad, all the way up until I tried actually walking to class. That's when the dizziness set in. Walking to class while the whole world spun around me. It wasn't fun. I felt even more like I wanted to throw up. Any way, I'm sitting in class, feeling like death, when my photo-sensitivity decides I need to be hurt by sound now, right as we start listening to Operas! I mean, opera hurts enough on its own, but when you add audio-sensitivity into the mix, that's an all new kind of pain.

After class, I drag myself back to my dorm room. I know that it is lunch time, but the apple I grabbed on my way to Experiencing Music had been unappealing and tasted terrible. I had no appetite, but I knew I had to eat something. So, I walk into the cafeteria, looking at all the food there. I really don't like the food there, but I have a meal plan that lets me eat there unlimited every time it's open, so I almost always eat there. Nothing sounded or looked good to me. Nothing was appealing. Normally I can find something or throw a quick dish together using odds and ends from the food available there. Yet I couldn't today. After a lot of self-motivating, I finally forced myself to choke down some spaghetti with some tomato sauce.

Then, I head off to Modern American Literature to take my test. With a migraine. A test I have not studied for, with my head feeling like it was splitting in two, despite taking some Excedrin for the pain. Fortunately for me, I knew most of the test and could easily pick out 8 of 12 items to identify (which was the idea of the test) with only one author forgotten. Not too bad if I say so myself.

This is where my day starts to get better. I get a call from Wal-Mart letting me know my new glasses are in, and it was only Wednesday that I had my eye exam. I picked up my glasses and got my trial pair of contacts in (it took me and hour and a half to get them in both eyes, one out and back in again, but it was worth it!). My migraine had subsided or been dulled enough that I had an appetite again, so a ate a healthy (in portion) dinner. Then, lo and behold, I'm practicing on my guitar and I finally was able to play three chords in succession without any pauses! (Lily, I'm still not 100% sure in what book I read Jasmine Lily, but I like my guitar's name!) I was so excited, especially since I had once played two chords in succession and could never do it again. Well, I kept at it, and have now played four chords in succession! I think I finally got past the little stump in my practicing. Soon, I will hopefully be able to play the song I am learning!

It's funny how our days are. We have bad days, yet we still have an Awesome God who can give us little bits of joy, even when we're having bad days. Today, I enjoyed four hours of sight without the aid of glasses, tomorrow will find me able to use my trial contacts for a full six hours. Tonight, I had some pancakes at an event we had in my building and was able to play some ping-pong, at which I am happy to say I am slowly improving. Our God is an Awesome God and I am glad to serve Him, even on migraine days.

"Well, You Don't Have to Be Sarcastic About It."

Everyone who knows me knows I'm sarcastic. That's what you get when you deal with me. Yet, I'm not trying to to be mean with it. I can come across as mean, but most people realize that it just how I am. I am sarcastic. However, it's been worse lately, and I'm not sure why.

I suppose I'm sarcastic for any number of reasons. I come from a sarcastic family. I am somewhat cynical. I have a level of intelligence. A lot of my friends are sarcastic. It's just how it is. I try not to be mean, and I do what I can to discern when not to be sarcastic. However, despite all this, my sarcasm has gotten worse lately.

My comment and replies are constantly sarcastic anymore. I find myself saying things that simply don't need to be said that way. Is it the stress of looking for a job? I hope not. I've been under a lot more stress than my current condition and my sarcasm has been in check. Is it some change in my life? Well, I'd understand if my life wasn't at it's normal state of confusion. Am I afraid of something? I've racked my brain and I can't think of one thing that's scaring me enough to make me react in fear. I've been casting my doubts on the Lord and His has answered my prayers, as He always does. That's when I touch on something. Have I drifted from my Father?

I'm stubborn with a capital S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N. I wouldn't take too much offensive to being called "bull-headed." I am stubborn and I know it. The Lord uses that stubbornness and breaks it down all the same. What I mean is, He takes my stubborn self and makes me diligent, which is the positive side of stubborn. Then He takes my unwillingness to do some things and my standing on the wrong things and breaks it all down. I become more diligent than stubborn, but I'm still very stubborn.

I wonder if that stubbornness is rearing it's ugly head again. Am I refusing to do something and I'm reacting with sarcasm? Or is there some secret fear that I'm too stubborn to admit? It's not hidden from the Lord, but my own stubborn stupidity (for that's what stubbornness usually is) won't let me give it up. The old, dead flesh is still clinging on to the Renewed Soul. This fights weapon, sarcasm. However, it might just be I'm overly sarcastic and I'm just too cynical and I need to get that in check. Only time with the Lord will tell.

Electing Election (Salvation)

I've spent a long time thinking about this post. I've invested a lot of prayer into it, and study. It has been a debate that I have not been the first to weigh in on, nor do I believe I'll be the last. The debate is if we choose to accept Christ's Salvation, or if some of us are Saved while others don't even get the chance. The Calvinistic view is that some of us are "Elected," or chosen, to be Saved while the rest of us are damned to Eternal Death. I was in a debate with a TULIP Calvinist for a good couple of months last year and it was hard to talk with him. I found myself praying and crying for him. I read and studied and listened, and yet I couldn't understand how he could possibly believe what he did about Salvation. I am no nearer that conclusion now than I was then. However, I feel it best to have out what I have found in Scripture and say my piece. I don't want to weigh in with this particular Calvinist again. Not because I feel that I'm better than him in any way, but I feel it is not my place. However, I am not one to let things build up to the breaking point, so I will post my thoughts and be done with it.

The belief that we are Elected into Salvation is a very strange belief. To me, it ignores many parts of Scripture, both from the New and Old Testaments. However, because I have to go into what the words used are, and there are those who would say, "Don't argue about the meaning of words." I have yet to find that in the Bible. It may be there, it may not be. Regardless, I am not here to argue the meanings, but understand the meanings. To this point, I would like to point out that we are called by Jesus to "be wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16). Now, what does that mean to be "wise as serpents." Well, in all my years of church and the Bible, there is only one serpent that had any character at all. I am of course talking about the Serpent in the Garden of Eden. His knowledge of the words of the Lord was so great that he was able to twist them to his own meaning, to his own gain. Now, I am not saying we should twist what words mean, but rather that we should know our words so well that we could twist them, that is have the ability to do it. (I hope no one who reads this feels justified twisting the meaning of words, but rather understands that one should have an intimate knowledge of the words.) That being said, I will continue.

The first part of Scripture I would like to look into is John 3:16-17, "16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." Now, the word "world" is what I would like to look at in this part of Scripture. Jesus was speaking in Greek at this time and Greek is a language that has multiple words for the same thing. However, these words don't mean the exact same thing. "World" has four separate meanings for the four separate words. However, the use of world here is always kosmos, which means the world in the complete and total since. I will remind the reader that this was Christ speaking about Himself and His Purpose in the world. To say that He only meant those who are "Elected" ignores Christ's words. It also claims that our Lord and Savior has a limited world view, and though He ate with sinners, He somehow could not see them. I assure you, this is not true, for He came so they might be saved.

Might be saved is the key in that passage. That shows us something. It shows us that there are those who won't be saved. However, some might say that it means that we are chosen to be saved while others are not. I ask you, were in that passage does Jesus say that? Not by any means is that what is being said here. If we look on:

18 He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."

The Lord does not say at any point in this speech that we are "elected" into our Salvation. It says that those who don't come to the Lord don't come because of their wickedness and those who do come are watched over by the Lord. I do not see the Lord saying that some can be saved while others cannot.

Well, some may say, but Jesus said no one comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6). I say to them that the life that Jesus offers is the light for men that shines through the darkness (John 1:4-5). However, because I do not wish for someone to claim I'm misquoting the Bible, here is John 1:4-5: 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

These are not the only passages that deal with this subject. The Bible has a lot more to say. For instance, some argue that man excepting Christ's free gift of Salvation is someone outside the scope of man. They say the men who do not know Christ cannot accept Christ. I would point them to the Old Testament where Moses proved a very different point.

Allow me to set the stage for you. The peoples of Israel and Moses have been traveling in the desert for some time now. They are weary and hungry. Now, to the verses, Numbers 21:4-9.

4 Then they journeyed from Mount Hor by the Way of the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom; and the soul of the people became very discouraged on the way. 5 And the people spoke against God and against Moses: "Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread." 6 So the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and many of the people of Israel died. 7 Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you; pray to the Lord that He take away the serpents from us." So Moses prayed for the people. 8 Then the Lord said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live." 9 So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.

What we see here is an act of faith by the people. It was not the whole of Israel, but those who looked at the bronze serpent. Was it the serpent that saved them? No, for it was a bronze figure on a pole. Was it Moses that saved them? No, Moses did simply what he was asked to do by both the people and the Lord. It was the Lord that saved them. However, it's not just that He saved them, but how they were saved. They were saved by believing in the Lord and that He would save them if they looked upon the serpent. They were saved by grace, through faith, just as Jesus saves us now.

I wish this was enough to make my point, but it is not. By stepping into the Old Testament, I have entered the Old Testament Law and must look into it to complete what it is I must say. Now, it should be common knowledge for Christians that Jews are the Lord's Chosen People. If you are a believer and did not know this, allow to give you this piece of knowledge: Israel is God's Chosen Nation, and the Jews are God's Chosen People. The verses that deal with that are part of a different point and won't be dealt with here.

I will, however, deal with the Law's provision for non-Jewish believers. This is during the time before Christ, so Christ had not yet died on the cross and had yet to Rise again on the third day. Yet, the Lord was still the Lord. However, the Law given to the Jews did account for non-Jewish peoples keeping the Law of Moses. They are were the strangers that dwell among the the Israelites. I would ask you, how is it, if God has a chosen people, which one could base the "Elect" on, why would strangers be included? Simple, non-Jews could live under the Law just like Jews could. How could they do this? They are not God's chosen people, yet they are summiting themselves to God's will? Well, the Election-toting Calvinist has an "answer" to that as well, that they were led by the Holy Spirit to follow the Lord.

Well, I would like to quote the best possible source to answer this one, Jesus Himself.

9 "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

What is Jesus saying here? Ask and maybe you'll receive? Seek and maybe you'll find? No, the Lord was not saying that at all! I will not argue with a Calvinist that we need the Holy Spirit, the Helper that Christ sent to us (John 14:26). But it is clearly two things. One, anyone can receive the Holy Spirit. God Created man, to claim that some of us cannot be saved or will not be saved is to claim that some of us are not part of God's creation, which is not possible. Therefore, we are all whom Christ meant when He spoke of God's children, especially mentioning that we are evil. That's a key to show us He meant all of us. Two, before Christ, the only mention of the Holy Spirit was the prophets. The prophets did not say that people can only follow the Lord whom He chooses to follow Him, not one. Nor did they say the Holy Spirit picks and chooses whom may receive Salvation. Jesus didn't say that either. Not one place will you find Jesus telling anyone that they might not receive the Holy Spirit. Instead, you find Him saying that we have to ask Him for it!

I would like to further point out that the Lord calls us to repent. The word "repent," in the three different forms it is used, appears 80 times throughout the Bible's 66 books. The meanings used for them are to be sorry, to think differently or reconsider, and to care afterwards or regret. The first two definitions are the most common, the first being the New Testament usage, the usage Jesus would have used. To be sorry, to repent, the New Testament calls us to this some 41 times in the 27 books that comprise it. I ask you, if only some of us can repent, why would we all be called to repent? It's simple, because we all can repent. All of us can be forgiven.

Now, I must address this last part, or what I have said will be moot in point. Seeing as man is a slave to sin and can only be freed by Christ, some Calvinists have come to the conclusion that by accepting Christ, man somehow does a "good work." Well, the Lord says our good works are like unto filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). However, I have yet to find a passage that says man cannot repent, especially when the Holy Spirit is available to all who ask. It is flawed logic to think that repenting is a "good work." If we look at John again, the first several verses I provided state that man will not come into the light "lest his deeds should be exposed." Allow me to help with understanding this. So far, I have been using the New King James Version of the Bible, but I would like to switch to the New International Version for just a bit so that we can better see what John 3:20 is saying.

20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.

I do this because the New King James is slightly difficult to understand. We see that fear is the underlying factor of why men to no come into the light. However, Jesus did not stop there. The very next verse begins with, "But he who does the truth..." There's a very dangerous word, "but." That means there is a counterpoint, there is something that is different here. Somewhere, somehow, man can come into the truth. There is no evidence that we are Elected into Salvation, but we see much more that suggests we can be saved, no matter who we are.

Now, I might be asked, then what is asking for forgiveness? Is that not a good deed? Let me ask you something, is murder a sin? Yes it is. What is Salvation? Death of the old self and rebirth in the Spirit. You see, we don't ask the Lord to save us to do something good, we do it because we realize, "Hey, I'm a sinful creature and without Christ, I'm going to Eternal Death, I don't want that." Yet, the side effect of asking for forgiveness and truly asking for it is Being Born Again, casting off the old, sinful nature, and becoming a new being that's molded into God's Holy Will, none of these things we can do, only the Lord can. So, my answer is, how is it a good work to do nothing? How is it a good work to repent? How is it a good work to kill off the old self? God does the work, sets us on our feet for the first time, and you call that a good work? I call that the Lord's Good Workmanship. I could not accept Salvation if the Lord hadn't sent Jesus to die on the Cross, defeat death by rising on the third day, sent the Holy Spirit, created me, and then made it possible for me to hear of His Salvation. Work indeed.

Talent for the Talentless

This Sunday I was faced with myself yet again. I had one of those moments where I had to hold onto my Father's Hand and just cry. I felt so broken and so worn down, so useless. It was something so pointless and stupid, but it had such deep meaning that I see now I needed to go through another moment of feeling faint.

The Lord has placed some talented people in my life. My friends have many talents that I find impressive and I love how they use them. One of my friends has been blessed with a wonderful talent for singing and guitar playing. When she's not doubting herself, she plays some of most beautiful music. I also have a friend you has a talent for just being there for you when you need him. It's like he always knows when it's time "to go for a walk." I think some of our greatest bonding times have been on walks. I have so many more examples, yet that is not the point of this post. I felt as if I had none. No talents to my name. I felt like I was worthless and had no value to anyone or anything. My friends noticed I was visibly upset and asked what was wrong. I couldn't tell them and have it out in front of everyone. No, it was my shame. This was all before the sermon started in church. It was a good sermon on the Marriage Covenant, yet it was not the message the Lord had for me that day. (The following is an approximation of the conversation my soul had with the Lord.)

"Why have you made me this way?" I asked desperately as the sermon began.
"In what way is that?" I felt the Lord reply.
"So talentless, so useless..." was all I could say.
"But you write so beautifully, and your passion for teaching is great. Have I not given you these things and more?"
That took me aback for a bit. "Yes..." I replied reluctantly.
"Then how can you say I have made you talentless?" asked the Lord.
"I...I can't do anything for You though," I said, almost hurt.
"My son, why do you say that? You can teach for me, learn for me, talk for me, walk, love, write, play, pray, and so much more. Have I not blessed you with the ability to bring cheer to those without it? Have I not given you comedy? Selflessness? Honesty? Was it not I who gave everything you have?"
"Lord, it is as you say. But what can I really do for You? Am I to write? To teach? Talk? What is my ministry? What are my talents?" I asked, wondering if I was wrong for this.
"My child," came the Lord's reply, "you know more than you want to admit. What are you doing?"
I wasn't sure what this meant at first, then I realized, "Lord, I'm going to teach, dance, sing, love, cry, just overall live, and that's what I'm learning to do now."
"Now go to the Alter," was the Lord's response.
"But, what if they don't have an alter call? What then?" I asked, stupidly.
"Not that alter. My Alter."

Some people may read this and say, "Shame on you, you should have been paying attention to the pastor!" My response to those of you who say that, "Shame on you for valuing the words of a man, though they be from the Lord, over the Words of the Lord Himself." I'd trade a thousand days in a Bible believing church for one day to listen just to the Lord's very Voice. As such, I also heard the message, but it's one I well know. I have studied marriage very closely in the Biblical context, and I know a lot of what it says. Do I know it all? I doubt it, but the Lord had something for me that day and I'm glad for it.

I do not write this to condemn anyone or any church. If you go to church and don't have a "Soul to Spirit" conversation; that's fine. If you have one of these every day; good for you. If it's once and a while; that's how it is. I write this as encouragement. The Lord answers prayers and He cares about where you're at. He wants you to get from where you're at to where He wants you to be. I'd much rather be there than here, and I hope you do too.