New Dog, Same New Tricks, Or Something Like That

What a Glorious God I serve! It amazes me how spending time with my Father can be so fulfilling! I love to Serve a Lord who can take anything and make it for good. Can I get an Amen?

The other night I went for a run after Bible Study. It went on this run because I could feel the Lord telling me I needed to talk with Him and we needed to have a few things said. I am so glad I went on that run. I geared up for the run and set out with my iPod playing. I was wondering on something that came up in Bible Study.

Signs. I don't get those. God, in His will, doesn't give me signs about what He's said He'll do for me. I get plenty of them after He has done something, but not before. Now, God is not bound at all to give us signs of anything. He does not have to give you a sign that such-and-such is the person you're going to marry. He does not have to gives signs to tell you that you are to do this or that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have gotten signs of God's will for my life before. Like what I going to school for, God gave me many signs that I should be a teacher, I just ignored them for a while.

It was beautiful though. God and me had a great conversation about that I don't need signs for things. Isn't it wonderful how we're all different? Some of us need signs all the time, yet some of us need them once in a great while. It's so awesome that we serve a God that knows us better than we know ourselves.

Also, God has shown me how much I have in writing. I love to write and some claim I have talent in that (Novel anyone?). Furthermore, it is in my writing that I best express myself. I have loved writing since I learned to do it at school. God has really given me a passion to write and apparently some talent in that. I love it so much.

The run was simply beautiful. Words fail to describe my spiritual high that night. I remember listening to Disciple at one point. Their song "Dive" is on my running tracks. The chorus is based off Isaiah 40:31.

But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

I was reminded of this Scripture. I quoted it slightly out of order during my run, but I knew what was being said. The chorus is " I'll run and not grow weak/Walk and will not faint/Climb the highest mountain to dive off/And I'll fly high on broken wings." It is a powerful song. It really gets me pumped every time.

My run was so recharging. I was tired after I finished, but I was so happy. I ran like I haven't in some time and It was great. It was funny how Satan tried the next day to put me in a foul mood. He tried to fight me with my contacts, with my sleep, even my plans for the evening. Yet he failed about I know something he keeps forgetting. The Lord is my strength and my refuge.

Running Like The Devil's Chasing Me

I'm often reminded of how complex the human mind can be. There are times that we can't understand what's bothering us. That is to say, we know some thing's on our mind, but it's buried so deep, we can't figure out what it is. Sometimes, however, it's so deep that we're not even aware that it's an issue until it surfaces somehow.

I do some of my best thinking when I run. I remember when it became too hectic for me to handle at home, which it would from time to time, I would go for a walk. My walks would later become jogs. The jogs in turn became runs. Sometimes I left to clear my head and think over what was happening. Other times I would leave to calm down. I found running became the best method for this. Not only did it calm me down faster, but it helped me to think faster because of the increased use of my brain due to the running. I found myself ready to return to situation and try and solve it as best I could. Because of this, running became my escape in many ways. I could simply disappear from somewhere and reappear with a more calm, clear mind. Also, it allowed me to just get away from people, for there are times that I simply want my space. There were even times that I couldn't just simply leave and go run, so I would wait until late at night, when everyone else was asleep, and run. Sometimes, I ran just to feel free.

It was because of my running that I realized something, I'm still mad at my dad. When my family first abandoned me, I had a favorite song. "Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet" by Relient K. I listened to it as thought about what had happened. I didn't and still don't hate my dad, but I was mad at him for so long, I couldn't stand the thought of him at times. Imagine how much more painful it was to find I was like him! It was like venom in my mouth, and I was angry with myself! I spent so much time trying to reinvent myself. I changed my looks, how I walked, how I talked, everything. Yet, somehow, I was still my father's son. I could never escape that, no matter how much I wanted to.

Then, suddenly, I found myself freed of this. So what if I am my father son? I am also my Heavenly Father's son. I only have to do what I am called to do and I will become who I will be. That's not so bad, is it? So what if my father was used to be part of the mold that is me? I will be made a new man as Scripture says, so I need not worry.

Yet, then I went for a run. I had my iPod playing my running tracks mix just as I have many times before, when it came on. The song. If you never heard it, the chorus is a little something like, "No I don't hate, don't wanna fight you, know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you, 'cause you took this too far." That's went I realized, I was still mad at my dad. However, I was able to run it out for now. That's such a great feeling, running your problems down so you can deal with them.