Talent for the Talentless

This Sunday I was faced with myself yet again. I had one of those moments where I had to hold onto my Father's Hand and just cry. I felt so broken and so worn down, so useless. It was something so pointless and stupid, but it had such deep meaning that I see now I needed to go through another moment of feeling faint.

The Lord has placed some talented people in my life. My friends have many talents that I find impressive and I love how they use them. One of my friends has been blessed with a wonderful talent for singing and guitar playing. When she's not doubting herself, she plays some of most beautiful music. I also have a friend you has a talent for just being there for you when you need him. It's like he always knows when it's time "to go for a walk." I think some of our greatest bonding times have been on walks. I have so many more examples, yet that is not the point of this post. I felt as if I had none. No talents to my name. I felt like I was worthless and had no value to anyone or anything. My friends noticed I was visibly upset and asked what was wrong. I couldn't tell them and have it out in front of everyone. No, it was my shame. This was all before the sermon started in church. It was a good sermon on the Marriage Covenant, yet it was not the message the Lord had for me that day. (The following is an approximation of the conversation my soul had with the Lord.)

"Why have you made me this way?" I asked desperately as the sermon began.
"In what way is that?" I felt the Lord reply.
"So talentless, so useless..." was all I could say.
"But you write so beautifully, and your passion for teaching is great. Have I not given you these things and more?"
That took me aback for a bit. "Yes..." I replied reluctantly.
"Then how can you say I have made you talentless?" asked the Lord.
"I...I can't do anything for You though," I said, almost hurt.
"My son, why do you say that? You can teach for me, learn for me, talk for me, walk, love, write, play, pray, and so much more. Have I not blessed you with the ability to bring cheer to those without it? Have I not given you comedy? Selflessness? Honesty? Was it not I who gave everything you have?"
"Lord, it is as you say. But what can I really do for You? Am I to write? To teach? Talk? What is my ministry? What are my talents?" I asked, wondering if I was wrong for this.
"My child," came the Lord's reply, "you know more than you want to admit. What are you doing?"
I wasn't sure what this meant at first, then I realized, "Lord, I'm going to teach, dance, sing, love, cry, just overall live, and that's what I'm learning to do now."
"Now go to the Alter," was the Lord's response.
"But, what if they don't have an alter call? What then?" I asked, stupidly.
"Not that alter. My Alter."

Some people may read this and say, "Shame on you, you should have been paying attention to the pastor!" My response to those of you who say that, "Shame on you for valuing the words of a man, though they be from the Lord, over the Words of the Lord Himself." I'd trade a thousand days in a Bible believing church for one day to listen just to the Lord's very Voice. As such, I also heard the message, but it's one I well know. I have studied marriage very closely in the Biblical context, and I know a lot of what it says. Do I know it all? I doubt it, but the Lord had something for me that day and I'm glad for it.

I do not write this to condemn anyone or any church. If you go to church and don't have a "Soul to Spirit" conversation; that's fine. If you have one of these every day; good for you. If it's once and a while; that's how it is. I write this as encouragement. The Lord answers prayers and He cares about where you're at. He wants you to get from where you're at to where He wants you to be. I'd much rather be there than here, and I hope you do too.